Thursday, May 12, 2016

Ode to trans... species

I've decided that I'm an "otherkin".

This is my own little world where I don't FEEL like a human. I FEEL like a cat in a human body. As such, I will begin to act and portray myself as a cat.
Today, I went to work on all fours. I didn't feel comfortable in shoes anymore so I left them behind. Getting on the bus was a little bit of a chore, but it was kind of required because cats simply don't drive. I wouldn't want to be terribly illegal on top of the changes to my new species identity.
I got to work and found it terribly difficult to work with my desk. It simply isn't made for a cat. I tried to have a word with my boss about making reasonable accommodations for my new species identification. His words are not fit to print.
Honestly though, the greatest offense of the day was that were no restrooms to accommodate my chosen lifestyle. I tried to find a box with some dirt in it. There isn't one in the whole office building. I then tried to fill up a box in my own office to use. A coworker firmly declared, "That's disgusting and I swear to God if I even THINK you've pissed in that box I'm getting security."
I called it a day at this point with my full bladder and quickly found transport home so I could pee in my flower bed.
I think that the world just isn't open minded enough yet to accept Otherkin. Maybe someday the Otherkin-phobic will accept me and we can all live in harmony. Until I can use my preferred restroom in peace, I'll just have to suffer in the horrible oppression of the small minded individuals around me.

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